As soon as the word ‘Relationship’ pops up in our head, what usually comes along is a good vibe that is rife with unconditional love, an unfaltering trust, and loads of sacrifices and patience. Relationships wherein people are ready to stay truthful, loving, passionate, and most importantly patient to each other, are bound to survive in the long run. Just like any other thing in life, keeping up with a relationship also demands a lot of time and efforts as well. Being humans, it is pretty spontaneous of us to enter into relationships. And why it should not be? After all, one cannot really explore life from all its aspects unless he or she is accompanied by a life partner for the best part of his/her life.
As it is being aptly said that the journey of thousands of miles begins with a single step and the same holds good with choosing a life partner for the best part of one’s life. But hey! It is not as easy and comprehensible as it sounds. You might have come across a lot of relationships when people seemed committed for a good part of the time but things just ended up on a pathetically soar note. Or relationships getting ruined on account misunderstanding, unworthiness, lack of communication or unwillingness to compromise, and so on. Well, every coin has two facets. And so, do have relationships. The flip side of the relationship gives birth to something that all of us shall be fully aware of. And that is called ‘Toxic Relationships’.
Whether you are completely unaware of the meaning of Toxic Relationship have a basic idea of it, you certainly need to take a seat and devote your next few minutes to understanding the Toxic Relationships and the various aspects which comprise an integral part of it.
Beginning with the most rudimentary question, we ought to ask what exactly a toxic relationship is. Well, making out the meaning of the Toxic Relationship is pretty straightforward.
And here you go!
As all of us are well-familiar with the fact that nothing can ever be perfect in the world. Each and every element of this earth has its own blemishes and upshots. In every relationship also there can be myriad blemishes. But when the same relationship gives no space to mutual understanding and touches the extremity of mental and physical pain, what comes up is a TOXIC RELATIONSHIP.
As the name suggests, Toxic refers to something that is contaminated in nature. Be it a toxic relationship or toxic friendship, the consequences are always gut-wrenching. To one’s utter surprise, many times what actually happens is that people do not understand that they are involved in a toxic relationship indeed. But it will not be that difficult if the signs are clearly laid down.
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Most Common Sign Of Toxic Relationship
- There is No Giving and Just Taking
Imagine a ship being oared from one side. Do you that it is really going to keep on moving? A logical answer is NO. Well, the same goes for a Relationship. A Relationship is unlikely to survive if it is not supported by both of the partners. It is a two-way process and needs constant boosts ups from both the parties. So, what the boosters can be? Well, it can be as easy as arranging for different cuisine or planning a day off the busy schedule. However small these initiatives may seem; they certainly have some resounding positive effects on the relationships.
But sometimes, things don’t go as per the expectations and we find ourselves stuck in such a situation where it is us who are constantly stretching ourselves to make the other one happy. All in all, if you want to prevent your relationship from becoming a TOXIC one then you need not wait for the other one to initiate rather be the catalyst of the process.
A commonality that can be found in a toxic relationship is dishonesty. And usually, it arises from both of the parties. The significant aspect of dishonesty which is worth mentioning is that it arises on insignificant issues. You might have come across some toxic marriages where couples frequently give way to tussles because they feel that the other one is not giving due time to him/her or the dishonesty might even arise out finances as well. Dishonesty can creep in from many doors. But sometimes, the lack of a definite means of communication can be the reason behind dishonesty. So, it is always the best piece of advice not to start judging the other on the pretext of dishonesty unless a proper means of communication is being adhered to by both.
- Ineffective Communication
Be it a toxic friendship or a toxic marriage, ineffective communication can be easily witnessed as a major catalyst pushing persistent bitterness into the same. For instance, a friend of mine complained that her boyfriend has started turning into more of a toxic boyfriend. She kept on telling me how much does their relationship suffers from a lack of effective means of communication. Just like any other thing in the world, nothing is perfect here. And so, is a relationship. Being a responsible fellow, it is our duty to keep on nurturing our respective relationships with a keen understanding of the other. And when the same understanding starts declining, the problem of communication erupts. But it is always better to lay some standard communication channels that can not only keep off misunderstanding but also strengthen the bond of love.
- A Regular tussle
Toxic Relationships and regular tussles are somewhat synonymous with each other. And the definition of Toxic Relationship would perhaps be incomplete without the incorporation of verbal and physical fights in it. There are numerous instances where partners can easily cope with such situations but the majority of them show the propensity to turn into a toxic one. It is pretty normal and perhaps natural to return completely tired at the end of the day. And the exhaustion is bound to take the form of arguments and quarrels sometimes. But when neither of the parties is willing are a compromise, then the petty tussle might even take the form of a gut-wrenching physical fight as well. In order to prevent such situations, there is a need to stay patient over the shortcomings of the other one besides understanding the fact that everything takes its own time to restore to normalcy.
- Expecting for an initiative from the other
This point may not sound as appealing as to give birth to a toxic relationship. But hey! If you found even an iota of truth in the first four points of this article, then you shall certainly believe it with blind-eyes. A lot of confusion, problems, and heartbreaks are the disappointing results of Expectations only. Well, there does not lie any issue in expecting something from your partner but there are a couple of points that need to be thrown light on.
- Expecting to a certain level but only when you also find yourself in a situation to deliver the same.
- Never over-expect. Over-expectation is a sure way to destruction in any relationship.
It happens quite often that we expect small acts of care, gratitude, and acknowledgment from our partner but our expectations remain unfulfilled. So, what would you wish to do in such a situation? Is it alright to contaminate your relationship with unworthiness and complacency if your expectations are not met? Whatever your stand turns out to be, it is always better not to let the relationships ruined with it.
All you can do is to take some time to figure out what is pulling your partner back from not being himself/herself. And as soon as you have come up with a reason, now try working out some constructive ways to dealing with such a situation. Is that all? Definitely not. The last and the final measure you need to take is to actually implement those findings and observe the changes.
- Situations get Out of Control in No time
Everything is fine as long as it is under control. But when nothing seems to be guided as per us in a relationship, then what is destined to happen is a Toxic Relationship. Letting even the most adverse of situations under our control is an art. The art which all of us need to be proficient in, in order to succeed. But the reality is, all of us have their caliber and patience for encountering and reacting favorably to such situations. Not all of us can be overwhelmingly adept at handling unfavorable situations. Even if we are not, we can at least try to inculcate the sense in our daily life. It is always best to maintain your composure so as to get situations back to normalcy again. Loosing your composure and overreacting only aggravates the problem.
Jealousy may or may not be a common sign of a toxic relationship. It refers to such a situation when partners tend to be over-possessive about their achievements and start developing a proclivity towards ‘me’ rather than ‘we’. Jealousy acts a slow poison for a relationship. It is never visible like verbal and physical abuses but when on one side the latter can be easily compensated for, it is comparatively tougher to make up for jealousy. So, how can you keep this evil off your relationship? To be straightforward, if you don’t want jealousy to trigger your relationship then start celebrating the achievement of your partner. Even if you are at a loss at the end of the day, you two can always derive the pleasure in the pain even. This way your relationship will always emerge victorious over jealousy.
- Constant Judging
Being humans, it is pretty natural for all of us to make mistakes. When we are in a relationship, there is a need to develop a forgiving attitude towards the other. Nobody can ever say that he or she never gave way to any mistake in his life. Giving even a thought to it sounds drastically insane. If we stay considerate towards the other and rather than focusing on judging, we try to resolve issues then there a surety for a better road ahead. You might have come across the term Apa Itu Relationship. It is a combination of all these eight points that you just became familiar with. Judging your partner as per what they wear, what they prefer to eat or how they decide to react towards a certain situation is always disadvantageous in return. All in all, try to stick to a No-judging-policy. Try it once and you can find your toxic relationship turning into a peaceful one.
You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue in their actions.Unknown
The above-mentioned points were one of the most common signs of a Toxic Relationships. But ending something without mentioning its solution gateway is just like reading a book without getting its essence. Life certainly comes in myriad dimensions to all of us. And that is why there can never be one ideal solution to the all the relationship issues out there. But there is always a pressing need to ensure that our love for our partner remains the same at the end.
No matter how caring and loving you are towards your partners, there is always a chance that your sweet relationship might convert into a toxic one. But none of us really want to harm our relationships. In order to avert such risks, all of us need to take a pledge to start staying considerate towards the other and not resort to any such action or though that act as a hindrance to our relationship. Imagine a seedling that you plant in your garden with someone’s support. You two nourish it with all your love, compassion and selflessness to let it grow and turn into a tree in future. If you still haven’t got what the so-called tree you are aiming at, just to clear it out, it’s your Relationship. Try with all your might and main whatever good you can do for the Tree.
Also read our other articles on How To Have A Strong And Healthy Relationship. and How To Stay Emotionally Connected In Long Distance Relationship.